At least not without spilling, toppling or otherwise dishshelving my food and environs.
Once at a diner I shook a bottle of ketchup to mix it up only to have the cap fly off and tomatoey goodness splatter all over me, the wall, and the lovely plexi glass divider between the booths. That was awesome.
I also stood up to leave from a table and pulled the tablecloth somehow and spilled all the glasses that were still filled with water. At least I was leaving so it wasn’t my problem.
Today I was eating alone at Panera Bread. I don’t like people to watch me eat when I am by myself (mild social anxiety directed eyeroll) so I choose a seat in the front of the restaurant where no one ever sits thinking that would be safe. But then these two upper crusty types ( I know they couldn’t have been that upper crusty if they are eating in a Panera Bread, but what evs) sit down at the table RIGHT FREAKING NEXT TO ME, LOOKING AT ME, WTF!! Anyway whatever I get over it. I’m eating soup that has these croutons in it. And there is this one that is the Queen of all croutons. Seriously, it was being fed by all the worker croutons and achieved a massive size. Now I don’t want to attract attention by shoving this entire GIGANTIC crouton in my mouth, I am sure the upper crusties will judge me. So I decide to chop it up with my spoon. Do you know how hard it is to chop up a really big crouton with a soup spoon? Really Hard. While trying to chop up this crouton so as not to make an ass of myself the spoon slipped and bright red soup went flying everywhere. Did I mention the soup was bright red? Oh yeah. Freaking bright red soup all over the warm yellow walls of Panera. Way to go!
The soup was really good though. Next time I eat lunch I will take it back to my office.
